Today's Monarch of England is George IV, the "Regent King," AKA "The Great Profligate," son of George III. He did much in his time, but he is remembered as a contemptible, vile, odious king... and of course he's most known for being the fattest of all British kings. How did "Prinnie" become so detested? Why did his reign nearly lead to the end of monarchy in England? Read on, faithful followers!
I give you George IV! - George was born in 1762, the eldest son of George III and his wife, Queen Charlotte. There is every indication that he was loved by his parents early on. George III spent more time with his children than many monarchs of the past, (possibly due to the neglect he received from his father and grandfather.) - Was a very intelligent student, mastering several languages, mathematics, and doing well in most other fields. His tutors had strong praise for him. Like his father, English was his first language, though like all the Hanoverians, he had a slight German accent. (Probably from his mother, who was German, as were some of his tutors.) - Was closest to his little brother, Frederick, who was one year his younger. "Fred" was not nearly as brilliant as George, and would remain something of a "sidekick" for his older brother well into adulthood. - The problems started when George turned 18. He was given his own residence, which was fairly customary. Now on his own, and free from the yoke of his very monogamous, very pious father, "Prinnie" Prince George went wild. I don't mean just a few mistresses and some food... I mean, INSANE debauchery, worthy of the craziest excesses of the French or Russian courts. - George was given a birthday gift of what would today be about 6 million pounds. He spent it in just a few months. He asked for and received what would today be about 5.5 million pounds a year. That barely paid for his horses, carriages, and staff maintenance. Everything else he put on "Daddy's Credit Card" of the times... he just bought whatever he wanted. Who was going to say no to the Crown Prince? England footed his bills, and his bills were ENORMOUS. - King George III hated this intensely, and told the Prince loudly and often. Prince George responded by trying to shock his parents with even more disgusting behavior. Wild orgies, week long drinking and gambling binges, poker parties that lasted for days on end... Prinnie and Fred were doing it all. The fact that he was dragging his little brother into it infuriated his father and mother, both. Charlotte once called her own son, "The biggest and most disgusting beast in the world... and we wish, heartily, that he wasn't in it." (Yes, that's right, his own mom wished death upon him.) - Scandal after scandal were piling up on his doorstep. He seduced married women, including duchesses. He had a thing for "actresses," (a euphemism for whores from back in Charles II's time.) But, worst of all, he fell deeply in love. He fell madly in love with a woman named Maria Fitzherbert. She was EVERYTHING wrong wrapped up in one woman. She was twice divorced, six years his elder, of common birth, and a catholic! Marrying her would have made him ineligible not only from Parliament's Act of Settlement of 1701, but also the Royal Marriages Act of 1772. She was a Catholic, AND the king would NEVER give permission for him to marry this woman..... so they eloped!!! - Politically, the marriage would have been annulled from the get-go, as it violated the Royal Marriages Act. Still, as far as the two of them were concerned, they were legally married. This of course was all kept secret from the King, the nation, and everyone else. Prince George had not only NOT received permission, he didn't even bother trying to get it in the first place! -The hatred between the father and son, in true Hanoverian style, was immense. So, Prince George did what his forefathers did... he set up a rival court. - Prinnie's court was, of course, full of people his father hated. Reformers, progressives, Enlightenment thinkers, and powerful anti-king MPs like Fox filled the Prince's gambling halls at night. Even though they found the prince to be vile, they flocked to him, as it was a way to dig in at the King. If Prinnie realized the hypocrisy of partying with anti-monarchists, it didn't show. - Estranged from his father, Prinnie's lifestyle began to catch up to him. His debts piled up and piled up, until he had to go to his father, hat in hand, to beg for a bailout. George III refused, and the Prince failed to get a grant from Parliament, either. He was forced to move in with his "wife" at her estate, where the party continued. By now people were beginning to suspect that they were more than just lovers. Fox, being the Whig leader, tried to secure a grant for the Prince by stating categorically that the rumors were false, and that Fitzherbert was nothing more than a glorified mistress. This enraged Fitzherbert, but there was nothing she could do about it without destroying her husband politically. So, Parliament bailed the Prince out to the tune of around what would be 18.5 million pounds, then gave him another 6 million to renovate his house. - Though extravagant, he was known the world over for his excellent taste in fashion. England, through Prince George, overtook France as the fashion capital of the world... most fashions were dictated by George himself. This made him famous, but it certainly didn't curtail his spending. - By now, people were starting to wonder what good use the monarchy was, other than being a complete drain on the economy. If George III hadn't been such a simple living man of the people, England very well could have gone down the road of revolution that was happening in France. As it was, "Farmer George" started to take on another meaning. Instead of the king being laughed at for being a farmer, he was held up with pride by the common folk against the image of the debauched and corrupt son. "Prinnie" was serving a purpose, even if he didn't realize it. - In 1788, Prince George was 26, and starting to gain weight. He was miserable, bored, and reviled by most people except those who hated the monarchy. Then, his father went insane. When king George was unable to open Parliament, Prince George swept into action. His Whig buddies in Parliament put forward that the Prince had the sole right to be the regent in his father's stead, due to his birth. William Pitt the younger (son of the old PM William Pitt,) who was an independent, (not a Tory, as many today believe,) stated that anyone has a right to be regent, but conceded that the Prince was probably the best candidate to take care of signing documents and such, as long as he was kept well away from the treasury. - Prinnie was now on a collision course with Parliament. He wanted full control, no concessions. Both Pitt and Fox wanted an obedient King. Prinnie was by no means known for his obedience. The whole thing was defused by, of all people, little brother Frederick. He said, in public, that his older brother would never THINK of taking power without Parliament's permission. This satisfied Parliament, though the Prince was forced to agree to all of Pitt's limits on his powers. (He couldn't sell anything, he couldn't make peers, etc...) -- Side note: this is why things are given to the Royal Family "In Trust." Queen Elizabeth is fabulously wealthy, but she can't sell most of her treasures for money. This would probably not have been necessary in most countries... but England had Prince George. - The problem was this... for Parliament to pass the Act of Regency, Parliament would have to be open. Parliament could not open without the King's opening speech. The Chancellor could open it for the king, but the king would have to approve this with a letter affixed with the great seal. Since George III could do neither of those things, the act couldn't go forward. There was a very real possibility that the government of Great Britain would be abolished on a technicality! Luckily, before that could happen, Pitt just circumvented the rules and allowed the seal to be affixed without the king's permission. This was blatantly illegal, and Pitt's opponents, along with even the prince and Frederick, pointed this out. But what could be done? Minutes... (literally minutes) before this resolution was passed, George III appeared, albeit a bit disheveled, in Parliament. He demonstrated his ability to function, and the whole idea was scrapped. The crisis had been averted... but for how long? - Perhaps realizing how close his hated son had gotten to taking the throne, George III sought to force his estranged son to grow up. He agreed to a devil's deal... he would take Prinnie back under his wing, and the king would formally take over the prince's debts... if he got married. This was, of course, a huge problem for prince George... since, you know.. he was already married and such. But, he couldn't tell his father that he was married to an elder, common, twice divorced Catholic. The meltdown would have been legendary. So, in 1795, the prince gave in... and committed bigamy. - Caroline of Brunswick was the unfortunate victim chosen to marry prince George. The wedding was a complete disaster. The Prince showed up drunk off of his ass, stumbled through the ceremony, then offhandedly commented that his new wife was ugly and smelled bad. The honeymoon was short. George walked in the room, fell over, and passed out with his head in a pile of ashes near the fireplace. Caroline simply went to bed and left him there. - The two immediately detested each other. She was German, but she was not intelligent. She had little to say, was not aging gracefully, and, worst of all for the prince, she was BORING. The two only managed to have one child, a daughter named Charlotte, and in 1796, the two separated. Caroline was shunted off to a disused wing of a palace, and eventually given her own house in the countryside. Even there, she was harassed. She was spied on by the state, and when she adopted a young orphan, her neighbors claimed that not only was the child Caroline's, that she was a sexual deviant who liked to fondle other women in public, among other crimes. A full blown investigation was launched, (probably at prince George's command.) Caroline was soon found to be guilty only of being a bit flirty and clingy... but an adulteress she was not. This "secret" investigation was, of course, followed by nearly every person in Great Britain. When she was found innocent, it became clear that she was the unhappy, neglected wife of a complete bastard of a husband. Popularity for Caroline soared, while approval of the Royal Family plummeted. Prince George was seething. - In 1810, George III fell permanently into the depths of madness. Again, Parliament was faced with a shutdown unless a regent was declared. Though no one wanted to give it to the now middle aged, fat Prince George, he WAS next in line, and it made sense. After some political dancing, George, the Prince of Wales, became the "Prince Regent" officially. His powers were limited, but he was now in charge. His staggering debts were once again paid off by Parliament, (Another 58 million down the drain,) and the Regency had begun. - While the king rotted away in dementia, Prince Regent George set about what he really enjoyed doing... screwing, eating, drinking, and building. He loved to build. Even though England was deeply embroiled in a war with an odd Corsican man named Napoleon, the Prince Regent continued to build. He made a HUGE pavilion in Brighton, which was a marvel to behold. He built palace after palace... some of which he barely used. He was MAD for building extravagant palaces. He even decided one of his palaces was a bit too boring, so he ripped it down and renovated it to be much more grand... he planned all the rooms and layouts... everywhere you would see the brilliant hand of George.... today we call it "Buckingham." - His fashion sense continued to influence the world... He had a double chin, so he wore a high collar... they became the fashion of the world. The Whigs placed a tax on wig powder, so George stopped wearing wigs... this led to powdered wigs disappearing all over Europe. When he went to Scotland, he was so fat he couldn't wear his trousers, so he wore a kilt instead... this led to the renewal of Scottish Tartans, rules and clans were researched, and even today the whole Tartan culture remains popular. - As regent, George knew he had almost no real power. Instead, Parliament ruled in his stead, barely even recognizing that he was there. This suited Parliament just fine, and the people were ok with it, as well. The problem was... why should the people pay time and time again for this absolutely dissolute monarch's debts? Many people feared a bloody coup, but the English had killed their king before, and look how THAT turned out! Instead, it seemed that sidelining the Royal Family was preferable to wiping them out. The Prince Regent was ok with this... and went back to his life of chasing women and gaining weight. - However, a sudden change in mood caused a crisis that demanded his attention. A bill putting forward the idea of complete Catholic Emancipation was put forward, and it was ripping Parliament apart. George did not favor the emancipation. (Perhaps because he would then be legally married to Fitzherbert, which would make him a bigamist, legally. Or perhaps he just hated most Catholics... who knows?) In any case, he now had little power to do anything about it... the Catholic emancipation happened, whether England was ready or not. - Abroad, Napoleon was famously defeated at Waterloo. George received none of the glory, which frustrated him immensely. When the celebrations commenced, it was Nelson, Wellesly, and many other war heroes who were to be given columns and statues. The Prince Regent and his nutty dad were barely a side note. England was modernizing, and it was leaving the Hanovers behind. - By now George was fat... very fat. He had problems fitting in his clothes, and was constantly ordering more in an attempt to stay ahead of fashion. He was regularly mocked, sometimes to his face, by the people. Newspapers ran lampoons of him all the time. The Regent's weight and his womanizing were not just satirical... he really did live that way. He ate HUGE meals, he chased women of all ranks, it was Henry VIII all over again... only without any real power. - In 1814, Caroline had had enough... she had tried to play the part of the dutiful wife, but now she was simply forgotten. She fled to Europe, where she hired a HUGE man named Bartolomeo Pergami. She and Pergami were rumored to be lovers, and probably were. The giant of a foreign man walking beside the fat old Queen made for an amusing picture, but it was an embarrassment to George. But then came some "good" news. - Finally, at 57 years of age, the Prince Regent became king. George III died. George IV was not very sad about this. It is said he cheered and celebrated when his dad finally died. - Now king, he did what pretty much everyone expected him to do... blow a boatload of money on a hugely extravagant coronation ceremony. It was to be the largest coronation of a monarch, ever, in England... before or since. (About 20 million pounds or so by today's rates.) George, now addicted to laudanum, created a sight beyond all expectations, thousands of nobles, hangers on, musicians, performers, all in stunningly expensive gear, were in attendance. There was only one problem... his wife expected to be next to him.... both of them. - Fitzherbert had long since ceased to be much of an issue. In 1794, she had been quietly dumped by the prince. However, he told everyone it had been amicable. Still, they were married in her eyes. She contacted her husband later, who had grown bored of his mistress of the time. They reconciled, and the pope quietly approved of their marriage. Still, she wasn't the "queen" in the peoples' eyes, since he was technically married to Caroline. Fitzherbert would have to watch the coronation from the sidelines. - Caroline, on the other hand, was another issue entirely. She had returned, and come with her "assistant" Pergami. This caused rioting in some towns... a radical group planned to use the scene to support Caroline for the throne. This was immediately crushed... but it doomed Caroline. - Caroline was immediately put on trial. King George IV wanted a divorce, NOW. Caroline refused. She was put on PUBLIC trial for her "adultery" with Pergami. She jokingly stated to her friends that the only adultery she had every done was by having sex with the husband of Maria Fitzherbert... this reply was, of course, true... and it caused a media firestorm. Instead of making Caroline look bad, the people began to once again sympathize for her. George was up against the wall... but then, it seemed, a miracle happened. - When the coronation happened, Caroline expected to be queen. Upon walking up to the doors of the Abbey, the guards threatened her. George, knowing this would happen, had literally told them to keep her out no matter if they had to kill her or not. She went around the back, only to be similarly rebuffed. She would not be crowned queen... ever. She fled, crying, much to the amusement of many of the people in attendance... of course, she caused a HUGE scene first... the public sympathy for her quickly faded away after her unbecoming actions and tantrum. - She took ill that night... but something was wrong... she wasn't getting better... for three weeks Caroline lingered, in much pain. She died, bitter and sure she had been poisoned. It is incredibly likely that this was indeed the case, but we'll never know for sure. - The funeral entourage was due to travel through London, but George IV blocked it, probably out of spite. When the entourage arrived, they found barricades in their way. Shouts and jeers were traded, and soon shots were fired. 2 civilians lay dead, but Caroline's body eventually made a roundabout way through London, where it was then shipped to Brunswick for burial. - By now it was becoming apparent that the Catholics would finally have their rights back, which they had lost in the time of Henry VIII. Ironically, the monarch who was most like him would be helpless to interfere as Parliament passed resolution after resolution to re-enfranchise the Catholics. King George IV begrudgingly signed them all, although by his coronation oath, he was committing treason against his own office by doing so. In 1829, the Catholics were equal citizens again. - By 1830, George was morbidly obese, weighing in at about 135 kg, (more than 300 pounds.) He was so fat that he refused to be seen.. he had tunnels built underneath the grounds of his palaces so that he could move from building to building without being noticed by outsiders. In his last year, the family's illness finally found him. George IV went mad... he insisted he led a battalion at Waterloo, and that he was a champion horse racing jockey. One day, he clutched a piece of paper to his chest and screamed "GOOD GOD, BOY, WHAT IS THIS!?!?!?" He then fell over dead. A blood vessel had burst in his abdomen, but due to his weight, none had noticed the internal bleeding until it was too late. He also had a orange-sized cancerous tumor on his bladder, and his heart was enlarged. - His death was not regretted by much of anyone. Even The Times wrote an article saying "There never was an individual less regretted by his fellow-creatures than this deceased king. What eye has wept for him? What heart has heaved one throb of unmercenary sorrow? ... If he ever had a friend – a devoted friend in any rank of life – we protest that the name of him or her never reached us." - Upon cleaning out the king's quarters, it was found that he was a bit of a hoarder. There were thousands of spoons, shoes, and... most sadly, every love letter he had ever exchanged with his true wife, Maria Fitzherbert. In truth, he had continued to love her until death. He was buried with a pin showing a painting of her eye on his collar. She would die only a few years later. - George was a disastrous king, a selfish buffoon and an oaf... and yet, he did more than nearly any king before or since. He advanced the arts, built many of the great palaces of England, established England as a center for the arts and fashion, gave to universities, oversaw the end of Napoleon, and, in his own way, cemented the art of ceremony and pomp that surrounds the royal family even today. Although the people despised him in his own time, George IV's legacy of majesty and the trappings of royalty would not be forgotten by his young niece... a little girl named Victoria. |
|